Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called Lemony-Snickets.
It was Sunday morning; the sun was streaming through the gap in the curtains shining on Spaniel face, gently waking him up.
Spaniel could hear a ‘Boing Boing Boing Boing OUCH’ coming from his sister’s bedroom. Spaniel knocked on the wall shouting at Lemony to be quite as he was still snoozing and that she would wake up hoover the cat.
Lemony shouted ‘I don’t care, I’m Ninja Girl and I’m going to get you’
Spaniel groaned, muttering back to Lemony ‘Oh yea you and whos army?’
At this point his sister stopped bouncing and thought to herself, mmm perhaps your right I need an army, mmmm now I wonder who could I enrol? Perhaps mum? No, perhaps Dad? No, mmmm I wonder.
At that point Spaniel wandered into Lemony’s room grabbed here doll and left saying that he needed something for target practice. Lemony was horrified shouting I’m going to get you!! You Meany, Spaniel ignoring his sisters threats muttering to himself ‘yada yada yada!
‘Breakfast kids’ shouted mum from downstairs, at which point both Lemony and Spaniel ran down the stairs and jumped up onto their chairs at the kitchen table.
‘Well kids, either rice flakes or sausage sandwiches? What would you like?’
‘Sausage sandwiches please’ they both shouted in unison.
Whilst munching away at the breakfast Lemony kept telling Spaniel she was going to ‘muster her army and they were going to get him’, ‘oh yea’ said Spaniel ‘I suppose your going to get the chickens to help you are you’ he continued laughing. Lemony was getting annoyed by Spaniels taunting. ‘you just wait, you wait’ said lemony.
‘Alright where would you like me to wait’ said Spaniel thinking he was clever with such a response.
‘In eh um In the garden’ said Lemony who then stormed off. ‘And bring my doll Alfie with you as well’ she yelled as she went out of the doo to the front garden.
Lemony went and sat under the walnut tree in the garden, she started to ponder what can I do to get my brother back? Mmmm as she was doing this she was talking to herself coming up with various dastardly deeds. She hadn’t realised that someone was listening to her. Well in fact there were four pairs of ears listening to her.
High up in the tree was Cyril the squirrel sat in a hammock watching the world go by whilst munching on a walnut.
Lemony hadn’t noticed him up their, but every now and then there was a ‘plop’, ‘plop’, ‘plop’ Lemony kept looking around what was making that noise but she couldn’t work it out.
As Lemony sat there, Hewi, Lewi and Dewi where sat in their chicken coup listening intently to Lemony. All three chickens then began talking to each other saying what a great little girl Lemony was and that they should try and help her, they all agreed they would. However the real reason they decided to help was the fact that her brother Spaniel was their arch enemy and they had had many battles.
So all three said in unison ‘don’t worry Lemony we will help you’, Lemoney turned round ‘who who’s there?’ asked Lemony in a slightly nervous voice. ‘Don’t worry little girl it’s THE NINJA CHICKENS’ shouted the trio as they sprang out of their coup.
AHHH shouted Lemony in a stake of shock. It wasn’t every day that she saw talking chickens with ninja capes and masks on. ‘Don’t worry Lemony we will help you’ with that the three chickens came over to Lemoney and said leave it to us we will get your brother Spaniel he’s our arch enemy.
At that point there was a loud ‘KAPLUNK’ as Cyril the squirrel fell out of the tree and landed on top of Hewi. Cyril sprang to his feet and looked around apologising to Hewi. ‘OH NO A TALKING SQUIRREL’ said Lemony as she nearly fainted.
‘Talking chickens and a talking squirrel what’s happening in the world? Said Lemony, Its progress said Dewi, I suppose you haven’t spoken to the horse and cow yet then?
‘UUUUUU’ my head hurts said Lemony, ‘now don’t worry’ said Hewi, it’s alright. Let’s now deal with the matter in hand, SPANIEL.
‘What’s he done?’ apart from the obvious, said Cyril, ‘well he’s got my doll and he’s going to use it for target practice’ said Lemony in a crumbly voice.
‘Right troops’ said Cyril turning to his three comrades ‘lets make a plan’. So they all sat down with tea and biscuits making a plan.
After much pondering they came up with one, at that moment Spaniel came whistling into the garden carrying Lemonys doll and his bow and arrow set.
Lemony and her new friend jumped behind a bush and watched Spaniel.
He perched the doll on a bush and paced backwards 10 paces counting as he went.
‘OH NO’ he’s going to shoot Alfie with an arrow squeaked Lemony, ‘oh no he’s not’ said the animals as they all pounced out from behind the bush encircling Spaniel.
Cyril said to Spaniel ‘hand over the doll or we will be forced to NINJALISE you’
Mmmmm thought Spaniel, ‘well if its not my old chums Hewi, Lewi, Dewi and Cyril so you think you four can take me out?’ ‘well think again’ said Spaniel as he spun around holding out his bow, and with a klunk, klunk, klunk and klunk Spaniel splattered his four foes across the garden.
All four ninjas jumped shouting ‘BANZI LETS NINJALIZE HIM’ and they sprang across the garden with a great leap landing on top of Spaniel together and jumping up and down on the spot saying ‘AHH YOU’VE BEEN NINJALIZED’ with a great roar, Spaniel jumped up catapulting all four ninjas across the garden, Hewi flew head first into the dung heap pooh smelly, Lewi flew straight into the pond with a great splash, Dewi went straight into the buses with a loud yell, after all it was a holly bush! And finally Cyril bounced into the tree trunk with such force it rained walnuts on his head.
While Spaniel did this Lemony sneaked across the garden and managed to get hold of her doll before running into the house to tell mum and dad of her adventure and that they had a talking squirrel and chickens.
Spaniel just laid on the grass slightly dazed whilst he watched the ninjas scurry off……
Thursday 4 March 2010
Friday 12 February 2010
Stories
Hi Guys,
The whole process of writing the stories is great fun, we would appreciate some feedback if anybody has any comments or ideas as to the direction of a new storey line perhaps
The whole process of writing the stories is great fun, we would appreciate some feedback if anybody has any comments or ideas as to the direction of a new storey line perhaps
Another Short Storey
The Big Fight
Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called Lemony-Snickets. One day Spaniel got out of bed and
Yawned “I wonder what Mum has got for breakfast”. When Spaniel got down the stairs
He saw out of the window there was the ninja
Chickens punching their punch bags and lifting weights and on a treadmill “why are they training now it is only 6:30”said Spaniel.
As he got on his boots to go outside Spaniel shouted to the ninja chickens “oh you lot can you tell me why you are training now”
“No” said Lewi
“Its top secret ninja business if I told you I would have to kill you, any way you will find out when it’s to late” said Lewi with a sinister snigger. He sniggered so much he fell over on the treadmill which was still going and it catapulted him with a big splat into Hew and Dewi.
Spaniel then walked back inside the house to eat his breakfast.
“Hi Mum, what’s for breakfast?” said Spaniel, “coco pops with a side order of cat crunchies” laughed dad. “Very good” said Spaniel “I’ll have sugar puffs please”, “ok” said mum.
Meanwhile Hoover who had just woken up from one of the deepest sleeps he had ever had. He rolled over on the bed and fell out with a loud BANG and yelped “mew mew mew meow” which roughly translated into “blimey who moved the bed? whats this floor doing hear?” he then decided to go down stairs to see his chum Spaniel. Besides he could smell dad kippers being cooked. And if there is one thing that Hoover likes more than sleep its kippers.
Meanwhile Spaniel had just finished his bowl of sugar puffs “can I go and see what the ninja chickens are up to please” begged Spaniel “ok then“said Mum.
As Spaniel got on his boots on he was thinking how he could get the ninja chickens back for not telling him what they were doing.
“I know what I can do” said Spaniel and as he got to a pile of rotten tomatoes than he got them and hid behind a big rock and started to throw rotten tomatoes at the ninja chickens.
KAPOW the first tomato splattered Hewi squarely on the end of his beak, Hewi didn’t see the tomato coming and let out a very large SQWARK and went chicken oriental, running around squawking and clucking shouting “quick it’s the end of the world I’ve been hit by a flying killer tomato”. Lewi and Dewi just fell about laughing and pointing at Hewi who still had parts of the tomato dripping off the end of his beak. Hewi was not happy, Lewi and Dewi were still rolling about on the floor in fits of laughter when KERPOOW two tomatoes were thrown in quick succession, hitting Lewi on the side of his head, and Dewi on the back of his head, so hard that he fell forward into the ground, where his beak got stuck. Both Lewi and Hewi where running around like headless chickens squawking “the end of the chicken world is here, every chicken for himself run run” as they sprinted towards the chicken coup.
Meanwhile Dewi who still had his beak firmly stuck in the ground was squawking muffled squawks to his long gone chums to help him. Spaniel saw this as a great opportunity, and threw the stinkiest fattest tomato he could find, then taking aim he threw it at Dewi hitting him right on his bottom SPLAT, with such force he then rolled forward un-plugging his beak from the ground. Spaniel was rolling around in agony with laughter, Dewi just stood there looking at Spaniel. Dewi was getting madder and madder until steam came out of his ears and nostrils. Spaniel didn’t notice this as he was to busy laughing.
Dewi ran into the coup to get his chums shouting “quick lets get that pesky kid” its not the end of the world its just Spaniel throwing tomato’s at us lets get him.
All three chickens shouted “lets ninjalize him” Dewi then pressed the big red button in the coup, Hewi and Lewi shouted “NO NOT THE BIG RED BUTTON” but it was too late.
The ground began to tremble and there was a loud rumbling noise as the floor to the coup began to open up to expose a secrete gun room below. With a very sinister and evil chuckle Dewi said choose your weapons carefully were going into battle.
“I will pick the nut-a-poult” said Lewi
“I am going to have the tomato gun” said Dewi with a grin on his face “I am definitely going to pick a box of poo grenades and nutzuka”
The three amigos walked out of the coup to fight their evil nemesis Spaniel.
Spaniel had just finished laughing when he spotted the three chickens walking towards him. They then stopped and stared at each other, the chickens saying with a menacing tone, were packing enough firepower to blast you to your bedroom and back.
“But I don’t have a” POW the nutzuka hit Spaniel and he flew in to the tomato patch and landed on his bum. Spaniel in a daze looked around and grabbed a handful of tomatoes and threw them in quick succession at the three chickens hitting all three off their feet.
The three chickens jumped up shouting “BANZI ATTACK ATTACK” Dewi picked up a poo grenade and threw it at Spaniel, but he forgot to take the pin out, Spaniel quickly caught it and pulled the pin out and tossed it back at Dewi where it landed in the box of poo grenades, Dewi looked down at the box of grenades and wondered which one didn’t have a pin in it? but it was to late with a big KABOOOOOOOOOOM the whole box of poo grenades blew up. There was pooh everywhere and every one was covered from both head to foot and beak to claw, IT STANK AND SO DID THEY.
“Right” said Spaniel “prepare for your fate you ninja chickens”shoutd Spaniel as he found some tomato’s and stared to thro them at Hewi Lewi and Dewi and they stared to fire there nut-a-poult
And the tomato gun at Spaniel. Meanwhile dad and Hoover were sitting on the settee having a nap then a bid red tomato hit the window and woke dad up in fright then he went out side to see what was going on then he opened the door a SPLAT dad got hit by a nut and ran over to Spaniel and said “what is going on Spaniel” whissped dad “as I keep telling you they are ninja chickens” replied Spaniel
Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called Lemony-Snickets. One day Spaniel got out of bed and
Yawned “I wonder what Mum has got for breakfast”. When Spaniel got down the stairs
He saw out of the window there was the ninja
Chickens punching their punch bags and lifting weights and on a treadmill “why are they training now it is only 6:30”said Spaniel.
As he got on his boots to go outside Spaniel shouted to the ninja chickens “oh you lot can you tell me why you are training now”
“No” said Lewi
“Its top secret ninja business if I told you I would have to kill you, any way you will find out when it’s to late” said Lewi with a sinister snigger. He sniggered so much he fell over on the treadmill which was still going and it catapulted him with a big splat into Hew and Dewi.
Spaniel then walked back inside the house to eat his breakfast.
“Hi Mum, what’s for breakfast?” said Spaniel, “coco pops with a side order of cat crunchies” laughed dad. “Very good” said Spaniel “I’ll have sugar puffs please”, “ok” said mum.
Meanwhile Hoover who had just woken up from one of the deepest sleeps he had ever had. He rolled over on the bed and fell out with a loud BANG and yelped “mew mew mew meow” which roughly translated into “blimey who moved the bed? whats this floor doing hear?” he then decided to go down stairs to see his chum Spaniel. Besides he could smell dad kippers being cooked. And if there is one thing that Hoover likes more than sleep its kippers.
Meanwhile Spaniel had just finished his bowl of sugar puffs “can I go and see what the ninja chickens are up to please” begged Spaniel “ok then“said Mum.
As Spaniel got on his boots on he was thinking how he could get the ninja chickens back for not telling him what they were doing.
“I know what I can do” said Spaniel and as he got to a pile of rotten tomatoes than he got them and hid behind a big rock and started to throw rotten tomatoes at the ninja chickens.
KAPOW the first tomato splattered Hewi squarely on the end of his beak, Hewi didn’t see the tomato coming and let out a very large SQWARK and went chicken oriental, running around squawking and clucking shouting “quick it’s the end of the world I’ve been hit by a flying killer tomato”. Lewi and Dewi just fell about laughing and pointing at Hewi who still had parts of the tomato dripping off the end of his beak. Hewi was not happy, Lewi and Dewi were still rolling about on the floor in fits of laughter when KERPOOW two tomatoes were thrown in quick succession, hitting Lewi on the side of his head, and Dewi on the back of his head, so hard that he fell forward into the ground, where his beak got stuck. Both Lewi and Hewi where running around like headless chickens squawking “the end of the chicken world is here, every chicken for himself run run” as they sprinted towards the chicken coup.
Meanwhile Dewi who still had his beak firmly stuck in the ground was squawking muffled squawks to his long gone chums to help him. Spaniel saw this as a great opportunity, and threw the stinkiest fattest tomato he could find, then taking aim he threw it at Dewi hitting him right on his bottom SPLAT, with such force he then rolled forward un-plugging his beak from the ground. Spaniel was rolling around in agony with laughter, Dewi just stood there looking at Spaniel. Dewi was getting madder and madder until steam came out of his ears and nostrils. Spaniel didn’t notice this as he was to busy laughing.
Dewi ran into the coup to get his chums shouting “quick lets get that pesky kid” its not the end of the world its just Spaniel throwing tomato’s at us lets get him.
All three chickens shouted “lets ninjalize him” Dewi then pressed the big red button in the coup, Hewi and Lewi shouted “NO NOT THE BIG RED BUTTON” but it was too late.
The ground began to tremble and there was a loud rumbling noise as the floor to the coup began to open up to expose a secrete gun room below. With a very sinister and evil chuckle Dewi said choose your weapons carefully were going into battle.
“I will pick the nut-a-poult” said Lewi
“I am going to have the tomato gun” said Dewi with a grin on his face “I am definitely going to pick a box of poo grenades and nutzuka”
The three amigos walked out of the coup to fight their evil nemesis Spaniel.
Spaniel had just finished laughing when he spotted the three chickens walking towards him. They then stopped and stared at each other, the chickens saying with a menacing tone, were packing enough firepower to blast you to your bedroom and back.
“But I don’t have a” POW the nutzuka hit Spaniel and he flew in to the tomato patch and landed on his bum. Spaniel in a daze looked around and grabbed a handful of tomatoes and threw them in quick succession at the three chickens hitting all three off their feet.
The three chickens jumped up shouting “BANZI ATTACK ATTACK” Dewi picked up a poo grenade and threw it at Spaniel, but he forgot to take the pin out, Spaniel quickly caught it and pulled the pin out and tossed it back at Dewi where it landed in the box of poo grenades, Dewi looked down at the box of grenades and wondered which one didn’t have a pin in it? but it was to late with a big KABOOOOOOOOOOM the whole box of poo grenades blew up. There was pooh everywhere and every one was covered from both head to foot and beak to claw, IT STANK AND SO DID THEY.
“Right” said Spaniel “prepare for your fate you ninja chickens”shoutd Spaniel as he found some tomato’s and stared to thro them at Hewi Lewi and Dewi and they stared to fire there nut-a-poult
And the tomato gun at Spaniel. Meanwhile dad and Hoover were sitting on the settee having a nap then a bid red tomato hit the window and woke dad up in fright then he went out side to see what was going on then he opened the door a SPLAT dad got hit by a nut and ran over to Spaniel and said “what is going on Spaniel” whissped dad “as I keep telling you they are ninja chickens” replied Spaniel
Tuesday 9 February 2010
A Short Storey
Flying Chicken
Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called lemony-snickets.
Spaniel woke up early as the sun streamed through the gaps in the curtains. As usual Hoover was curled up on the bottom of spaniels bed sound asleep.
Spaniel laid there in bed thinking what adventures he and his fearless friend Hoover would have today.
Suddenly there was a tapping noise, spaniel just laid there dosing like hoover when all of a sudden the tapping got louder and louder, spaniel nudged hoover to go and have a look out of the window to see what it was.
Hoover stretched out his paws and yawned whilst lazily walking over to the window muttering to himself that he should not have to do this, and that he had better things to do such as sleep, eat, sleep, eat and sleep some more.
Spaniel told him to stop moaning and to pull his paw out and check to see what was tapping on the window.
Hoover said “Mew Meow Mew Mew Meow” which roughly translates into “the Egyptians had the right ideas, cats were treated as cats in those days, just you wait buster”. Hoover finally reached the curtains and pulled them open with his paws he was quite a cleaver cat he thought as he pulled the curtains back.
At that point he saw what was making the noise and it scared him out of one of his nine lives, jumping so high he hit the ceiling which he clung to with his “mew mew mew” which translates into Spaniel “there’s a flying chicken” spaniel who was fairly fluent in cat thought at that point hoover had had too much posh puss chunks and that he was seeing things, don’t be daft hoover spaniel said trying to reassure him, come down from the ceiling mum will go chicken oriental if she sees you stuck to the ceiling.
Hoover replied ‘you must be a nutter if you think I’m coming down when there’s a flying chicken pecking at the window.’
Spaniel laughed and got out of bed and looked out of the window, Hoover was right there was a chicken at the window, and he was flying, “he’s got a jet pack” shouted spaniel, I know said Hoover.
Outside the window with a mad glint in his eye was Hewy the ninja chicken, one of Hoovers and Spaniels arch enemies flying by with a jet pack on.
UH OH said Spaniel, at that point Hewy shouted MENTAL MENTAL IM A CHICKEN ORIENTAL - BANZI and came crashing through the window, and grabbed Hoover with his feet then jetted out of the room just as quickly.
Spaniel got his tennis racket and tried to splat Hewy but missed lost his balance and fell off the bed onto a shelf which collapsed catapulting a clay model of a squirrel he made at school out of the window.
The squirrel flew through the air with quite an impressive speed so much so that it hit Hewy and Hoover mid flight. The tail of the squirrel hit the on/off button on the jet pack and with a loud splutter the pair of them and the jet pack fell out of the sky.
Hoover shouted ‘oh my word, I’m not going to loose another life am I?’ ‘at least you have nine life’s to loose I’m only a chicken we only have one’ said the chicken. At that point with a loud whistling noise they neared the ground and with a huge splat they hit the ground, or rather I should say the big smelly dung heap, which was thankfully a very soft yet smelly landing for the pair of them.
Spaniel who was looking out of what was left of the window, and then he ran down the stairs and out of the front door whilst pulling on his wellington boots. Upon arriving at the dung heap all Spaniel could see was Hoovers tail sticking out waving furiously.
Spaniel grabbed his chums tail and pulled, and pulled and with a loud PLOP Hoover shot out of the heap, standing up and shaking himself to try and remove as much of the pooh as possible, he was not happy. Spaniel then went back to try and get Hewy out of the heap. Hoover shouted leave that mental chicken in there.
All of a sudden the remaining two chickens Lewy and Dewy pounced out from behind the tree in true ninja fashion shouting “HA YA” step away from the pooh or your both going to be kebabs, Spaniel looked at Hoover who just grinned and with a loud “BANZI” both Hoover and Spanniel jumped ninja style towards Lewy and Dewy in a kung fu fashion.
The chickens shouting ‘its ninja time’ as they to pounced towards Spaniel and Hoover, there was a great big blur of fur, feather and pooh as all four fought to try and ninjalise each other.
Just then dad came strolling around the corner singing to himself ‘old mack peter had a farm, and on that farm he had some chickens do da do da’ he then stopped in his tracks as he saw the tornado that was Spaniel, Hoover, Lewy and Dewy, as they tore across the garden flattening everything in their path. Dad grabbed the hose pipe and squirted the mad pile of trouble until in a total soggy heap all four just sat there dripping in a mixture of water and cow pooh.
Lewy and Dewy squawked and ran off to their coup, whilst Spaniel and Hoover sat on a nearby wall to dry off. As Spaniel, Hoover and dad sat there on the wall chatting in the sun they all heard a faint fizzle and sizzling noise followed by a little groan, then all of a sudden there was a large loud KAAABOOOOOM, there was pooh and straw flying everywhere and it covered all three of them, blowing them off the wall and into the cattle trough on the other side with a big SPLASH.
As they crawled out of the trough they saw Hewy fly by with what was left of the jet pack hanging off of him, whilst he squawked madly.
Hewy whizzed through the branches of the walnut tree, knocking loads of nuts off its branches as he went before finally coming to rest in a blackberry bush.
Hewy just laid there groaning with stars and little chicks twittering above his head. Everybody in the garden was laughing loudly as they saw Hewy just sitting there. He finally got up and staggered back to the safety of the coup, where he was going to lay down for a day or so.
Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called lemony-snickets.
Spaniel woke up early as the sun streamed through the gaps in the curtains. As usual Hoover was curled up on the bottom of spaniels bed sound asleep.
Spaniel laid there in bed thinking what adventures he and his fearless friend Hoover would have today.
Suddenly there was a tapping noise, spaniel just laid there dosing like hoover when all of a sudden the tapping got louder and louder, spaniel nudged hoover to go and have a look out of the window to see what it was.
Hoover stretched out his paws and yawned whilst lazily walking over to the window muttering to himself that he should not have to do this, and that he had better things to do such as sleep, eat, sleep, eat and sleep some more.
Spaniel told him to stop moaning and to pull his paw out and check to see what was tapping on the window.
Hoover said “Mew Meow Mew Mew Meow” which roughly translates into “the Egyptians had the right ideas, cats were treated as cats in those days, just you wait buster”. Hoover finally reached the curtains and pulled them open with his paws he was quite a cleaver cat he thought as he pulled the curtains back.
At that point he saw what was making the noise and it scared him out of one of his nine lives, jumping so high he hit the ceiling which he clung to with his “mew mew mew” which translates into Spaniel “there’s a flying chicken” spaniel who was fairly fluent in cat thought at that point hoover had had too much posh puss chunks and that he was seeing things, don’t be daft hoover spaniel said trying to reassure him, come down from the ceiling mum will go chicken oriental if she sees you stuck to the ceiling.
Hoover replied ‘you must be a nutter if you think I’m coming down when there’s a flying chicken pecking at the window.’
Spaniel laughed and got out of bed and looked out of the window, Hoover was right there was a chicken at the window, and he was flying, “he’s got a jet pack” shouted spaniel, I know said Hoover.
Outside the window with a mad glint in his eye was Hewy the ninja chicken, one of Hoovers and Spaniels arch enemies flying by with a jet pack on.
UH OH said Spaniel, at that point Hewy shouted MENTAL MENTAL IM A CHICKEN ORIENTAL - BANZI and came crashing through the window, and grabbed Hoover with his feet then jetted out of the room just as quickly.
Spaniel got his tennis racket and tried to splat Hewy but missed lost his balance and fell off the bed onto a shelf which collapsed catapulting a clay model of a squirrel he made at school out of the window.
The squirrel flew through the air with quite an impressive speed so much so that it hit Hewy and Hoover mid flight. The tail of the squirrel hit the on/off button on the jet pack and with a loud splutter the pair of them and the jet pack fell out of the sky.
Hoover shouted ‘oh my word, I’m not going to loose another life am I?’ ‘at least you have nine life’s to loose I’m only a chicken we only have one’ said the chicken. At that point with a loud whistling noise they neared the ground and with a huge splat they hit the ground, or rather I should say the big smelly dung heap, which was thankfully a very soft yet smelly landing for the pair of them.
Spaniel who was looking out of what was left of the window, and then he ran down the stairs and out of the front door whilst pulling on his wellington boots. Upon arriving at the dung heap all Spaniel could see was Hoovers tail sticking out waving furiously.
Spaniel grabbed his chums tail and pulled, and pulled and with a loud PLOP Hoover shot out of the heap, standing up and shaking himself to try and remove as much of the pooh as possible, he was not happy. Spaniel then went back to try and get Hewy out of the heap. Hoover shouted leave that mental chicken in there.
All of a sudden the remaining two chickens Lewy and Dewy pounced out from behind the tree in true ninja fashion shouting “HA YA” step away from the pooh or your both going to be kebabs, Spaniel looked at Hoover who just grinned and with a loud “BANZI” both Hoover and Spanniel jumped ninja style towards Lewy and Dewy in a kung fu fashion.
The chickens shouting ‘its ninja time’ as they to pounced towards Spaniel and Hoover, there was a great big blur of fur, feather and pooh as all four fought to try and ninjalise each other.
Just then dad came strolling around the corner singing to himself ‘old mack peter had a farm, and on that farm he had some chickens do da do da’ he then stopped in his tracks as he saw the tornado that was Spaniel, Hoover, Lewy and Dewy, as they tore across the garden flattening everything in their path. Dad grabbed the hose pipe and squirted the mad pile of trouble until in a total soggy heap all four just sat there dripping in a mixture of water and cow pooh.
Lewy and Dewy squawked and ran off to their coup, whilst Spaniel and Hoover sat on a nearby wall to dry off. As Spaniel, Hoover and dad sat there on the wall chatting in the sun they all heard a faint fizzle and sizzling noise followed by a little groan, then all of a sudden there was a large loud KAAABOOOOOM, there was pooh and straw flying everywhere and it covered all three of them, blowing them off the wall and into the cattle trough on the other side with a big SPLASH.
As they crawled out of the trough they saw Hewy fly by with what was left of the jet pack hanging off of him, whilst he squawked madly.
Hewy whizzed through the branches of the walnut tree, knocking loads of nuts off its branches as he went before finally coming to rest in a blackberry bush.
Hewy just laid there groaning with stars and little chicks twittering above his head. Everybody in the garden was laughing loudly as they saw Hewy just sitting there. He finally got up and staggered back to the safety of the coup, where he was going to lay down for a day or so.
My First Childrens Strorey
THE ADVENTURES OF SPANIEL
A Snowy Day
Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called Lemony-Snickets.
One day Spaniel woke up and saw Hoover the cat asleep on his bed; it was a Sunday morning so Spaniel didn’t have school.
He jumped up and threw the curtains open and looked out of the window, everywhere was white. There was snow everywhere, Spaniel loved snow, Hoover didn’t it was cold wet white stuff as far as he was concerned.
“Come on Hoover” Spaniel shouted, as he pulled on his thermal socks and jeans, once dressed Spaniel grabbed Hoover under his arm like a handbag and ran down the stairs.
“Mum what’s for breakfast?” shouted Spaniel
Mum said “what ever you want”, mmm Spaniel thought to himself then said “I think, I think I will have Shredies please mum with a nice cup of tea”. While Spaniel was talking to mum Hoover was tucking into his bowl of tasty cat food, it was ‘Posh Puss Chunks’ the cat food for the finer cat, Hoover thought it made him sophisticated! And it tasted great.
Meanwhile Spaniel’s bowl of Shredies had arrived and he was tucking into it hungrily to build up his strength for the coming day.
Spaniel slurped his tea then looking out of the corner of his eye to see if mum was watching he picked up the bowl and drank the milk out of it, “SPANIEL” mum shouted, “wwwhat mum” Spaniel spluttered back, “I know you are drinking the milk out of the bowl”, “how did you know that mum?” Spaniel asked, “mum knows everything” replied his mum.
“Sorry” said Spaniel asking to be excused from the table.
Hoover was sat by Spaniel’s side watching intently; “off we go Hoover” shouted Spaniel picking him up once again and rushing to the door.
“STOP RIGHT THERE” said mum, stopping Spaniel and Hoover in their tracks “put your wet weather clothing on, Hat, gloves and coat please”, “oh mum” said Spaniel, “don’t oh mum me” said mum. Spaniel put on his hat and gloves and picked up Hoover and made for the door, Hoover was just about to sneak off and curl up on the sofa to have a snooze. The pair dashed out of the back door and into the snow.
‘Brrrrr’ went Hoover, Spaniel said “you’re a cat you’re supposed to go Prrrrr”, Hoover said “you must be mad it’s freezing out here”. “Its not just Brrrrr, its double Brrrrr with a triple topping of Brrrr”.
Spaniel picked up some snow and made a snow ball and threw it at Hoover, who by now had lost his sense of humour about being out in the snow. The snow ball hit Hoover squarely on the snozzel (nose), Hoover went chicken oriental and jumped up saying “I’m going to ninjalize you for that”.
With one almighty ‘Ayahh’ he pounced on Spaniels head rubbing snow all over him, then whirring around creating a large snow storm Hoover covered Spaniel from head to toe in snow, Spaniel looked like a snowman. All you could see was his eyes blinking through small holes in the snow.
Hoover then stopped, looked at Spaniel the snowman and laughed loudly saying “my work is done I’m going inside where it is warm”, at that he turned tail and started to walk towards the house. Looking over his shoulder he said to Spaniel “you would have to be chicken oriental to be out in this weather”.
Hoover then rang the door bell and waited, dad opened the door and looked out, nobody was there apart from Hoover sitting demurely on the step, Hoover walked past dad saying “mew mew mew mew” which roughly translates into “thanks pops is mighty cold out there, and oh by the way did you know your son looks like a snowman”.
Dad looks around once more before shutting the door muttering to himself to make a mental note to tell Spaniel off for ringing the door bell and running away. Hoover sniggered to himself upon hearing dad saying this and thought ha ha Spaniel that will teach you to take a sophisticated cat like me outside. Hoover then mooched off to find a warm place to curl up and sleep.
Meanwhile outside Spaniel who was still looking like a snowman, was thinking of what to do next.
Mmmmm he thought just then he saw out of the corner of his eye the chickens in their run talking to each other arguing about what to eat and what to play.
Mmmm thought Spaniel again I could have some fun here. He slowly shuffled forwards to the chicken coup, moving very gently so as not to break the snow covering him. He slowly moved closer and closer.
Now the chickens Hewy, Lewy and Dewy were arguing quite intently, then Lewy said is that snowman moving towards us or am I going potty? Hewy and Dewy stopped talking looked at Lewy and then each other and fell about laughing; saying that the snows fried Lewys brain, how can a snowman move they said because:
A. its made of snow
B. its got no legs
C. and its not alive
Lewy stomped off to the feed bowl muttering to himself that he thought it moved.
Spaniel had heard the chickens arguing between themselves about him in his snowman’s disguise, and started sniggering aloud. Lewy heard the snowman sniggering and asked the others if they had heard the same. Hewy and Dewy just looked at Lewy then the snowman in amazement then back to Lewy, they both picked up some snow and made some snowballs (which is quite tricky when you have wings) and threw them at Lewy who went off inside to have some food and to lay down.
Lewys parting words to Hewy and Dewy were just you wait that snowman’s going to get you; then you’ll be sorry.
Spaniel heard all of this and thought great I’ll get those pesky chickens and shuffled forward until he was about two feet away. Then just as Hewy and Dewy were chatting about how they were going to fill their tummies with lots of food
“BOOO” shouted the snowman, both Hewy and Dewy jumped up so high with fright; they went zooming high into the tree branches above their coup, and with a loud BOINK they both hit their heads on the big branches before falling to the ground with a thud.
They both sat there with a dazed look on their faces with a mixture of stars and little birds tweeting above their heads (the birds were incidentally little chicks)
Ohhh Ahhh they both said whilst rubbing their sore heads. Just as they were struggling to their feet they heard this whooshing sound, looking around quickly they could not see anything then in unison they both looked up, shouting OHHHH NO, then great swaths of snow from the branches above dropped down upon them with a great big SPLAT.
Spaniel fell about laughing at the two chickens now looking like big blobs of snow with wings and a head sticking out of the top. Spaniel who by now had shed his snowman’s exterior due to the amount of laughing he was doing just couldn't stop laughing.
Hewy and Dewy just stood their fixed to the ground in snow; Lewy poked his head out of the doorway to see what the commotion was about. He saw his two mates covered in snow with Spaniel rolling about in the background, that made him howl (which is quite tricky for a chicken) with laughter when he realised what had been happening and that he now knew that Spaniel was the snowman.
The two chickens didn’t like the fact that everybody was now laughing at them, they slowly got madder and madder, their faces getting redder and redder until their heads blew like a steam trains whistle ‘PURRRRP’ they went and just exploded with rage saying that they were going to ninjalize Spaniel when they got hold of him.
With a kung fu chop they knocked open the door to the chicken run and chased Spaniel around the garden. With one great jump Spaniel went over a garden wall and with a plop he landed into the snow the other side before running inside the house slamming the door behind him.
His dad was at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea, asked ‘what’s the hurry, you being chased by ninja chickens?’ Yep said Spaniel before rushing off up stairs, mum looked around at dad saying ‘ninja what?’.
The storey continues......
A Snowy Day
Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called Lemony-Snickets.
One day Spaniel woke up and saw Hoover the cat asleep on his bed; it was a Sunday morning so Spaniel didn’t have school.
He jumped up and threw the curtains open and looked out of the window, everywhere was white. There was snow everywhere, Spaniel loved snow, Hoover didn’t it was cold wet white stuff as far as he was concerned.
“Come on Hoover” Spaniel shouted, as he pulled on his thermal socks and jeans, once dressed Spaniel grabbed Hoover under his arm like a handbag and ran down the stairs.
“Mum what’s for breakfast?” shouted Spaniel
Mum said “what ever you want”, mmm Spaniel thought to himself then said “I think, I think I will have Shredies please mum with a nice cup of tea”. While Spaniel was talking to mum Hoover was tucking into his bowl of tasty cat food, it was ‘Posh Puss Chunks’ the cat food for the finer cat, Hoover thought it made him sophisticated! And it tasted great.
Meanwhile Spaniel’s bowl of Shredies had arrived and he was tucking into it hungrily to build up his strength for the coming day.
Spaniel slurped his tea then looking out of the corner of his eye to see if mum was watching he picked up the bowl and drank the milk out of it, “SPANIEL” mum shouted, “wwwhat mum” Spaniel spluttered back, “I know you are drinking the milk out of the bowl”, “how did you know that mum?” Spaniel asked, “mum knows everything” replied his mum.
“Sorry” said Spaniel asking to be excused from the table.
Hoover was sat by Spaniel’s side watching intently; “off we go Hoover” shouted Spaniel picking him up once again and rushing to the door.
“STOP RIGHT THERE” said mum, stopping Spaniel and Hoover in their tracks “put your wet weather clothing on, Hat, gloves and coat please”, “oh mum” said Spaniel, “don’t oh mum me” said mum. Spaniel put on his hat and gloves and picked up Hoover and made for the door, Hoover was just about to sneak off and curl up on the sofa to have a snooze. The pair dashed out of the back door and into the snow.
‘Brrrrr’ went Hoover, Spaniel said “you’re a cat you’re supposed to go Prrrrr”, Hoover said “you must be mad it’s freezing out here”. “Its not just Brrrrr, its double Brrrrr with a triple topping of Brrrr”.
Spaniel picked up some snow and made a snow ball and threw it at Hoover, who by now had lost his sense of humour about being out in the snow. The snow ball hit Hoover squarely on the snozzel (nose), Hoover went chicken oriental and jumped up saying “I’m going to ninjalize you for that”.
With one almighty ‘Ayahh’ he pounced on Spaniels head rubbing snow all over him, then whirring around creating a large snow storm Hoover covered Spaniel from head to toe in snow, Spaniel looked like a snowman. All you could see was his eyes blinking through small holes in the snow.
Hoover then stopped, looked at Spaniel the snowman and laughed loudly saying “my work is done I’m going inside where it is warm”, at that he turned tail and started to walk towards the house. Looking over his shoulder he said to Spaniel “you would have to be chicken oriental to be out in this weather”.
Hoover then rang the door bell and waited, dad opened the door and looked out, nobody was there apart from Hoover sitting demurely on the step, Hoover walked past dad saying “mew mew mew mew” which roughly translates into “thanks pops is mighty cold out there, and oh by the way did you know your son looks like a snowman”.
Dad looks around once more before shutting the door muttering to himself to make a mental note to tell Spaniel off for ringing the door bell and running away. Hoover sniggered to himself upon hearing dad saying this and thought ha ha Spaniel that will teach you to take a sophisticated cat like me outside. Hoover then mooched off to find a warm place to curl up and sleep.
Meanwhile outside Spaniel who was still looking like a snowman, was thinking of what to do next.
Mmmmm he thought just then he saw out of the corner of his eye the chickens in their run talking to each other arguing about what to eat and what to play.
Mmmm thought Spaniel again I could have some fun here. He slowly shuffled forwards to the chicken coup, moving very gently so as not to break the snow covering him. He slowly moved closer and closer.
Now the chickens Hewy, Lewy and Dewy were arguing quite intently, then Lewy said is that snowman moving towards us or am I going potty? Hewy and Dewy stopped talking looked at Lewy and then each other and fell about laughing; saying that the snows fried Lewys brain, how can a snowman move they said because:
A. its made of snow
B. its got no legs
C. and its not alive
Lewy stomped off to the feed bowl muttering to himself that he thought it moved.
Spaniel had heard the chickens arguing between themselves about him in his snowman’s disguise, and started sniggering aloud. Lewy heard the snowman sniggering and asked the others if they had heard the same. Hewy and Dewy just looked at Lewy then the snowman in amazement then back to Lewy, they both picked up some snow and made some snowballs (which is quite tricky when you have wings) and threw them at Lewy who went off inside to have some food and to lay down.
Lewys parting words to Hewy and Dewy were just you wait that snowman’s going to get you; then you’ll be sorry.
Spaniel heard all of this and thought great I’ll get those pesky chickens and shuffled forward until he was about two feet away. Then just as Hewy and Dewy were chatting about how they were going to fill their tummies with lots of food
“BOOO” shouted the snowman, both Hewy and Dewy jumped up so high with fright; they went zooming high into the tree branches above their coup, and with a loud BOINK they both hit their heads on the big branches before falling to the ground with a thud.
They both sat there with a dazed look on their faces with a mixture of stars and little birds tweeting above their heads (the birds were incidentally little chicks)
Ohhh Ahhh they both said whilst rubbing their sore heads. Just as they were struggling to their feet they heard this whooshing sound, looking around quickly they could not see anything then in unison they both looked up, shouting OHHHH NO, then great swaths of snow from the branches above dropped down upon them with a great big SPLAT.
Spaniel fell about laughing at the two chickens now looking like big blobs of snow with wings and a head sticking out of the top. Spaniel who by now had shed his snowman’s exterior due to the amount of laughing he was doing just couldn't stop laughing.
Hewy and Dewy just stood their fixed to the ground in snow; Lewy poked his head out of the doorway to see what the commotion was about. He saw his two mates covered in snow with Spaniel rolling about in the background, that made him howl (which is quite tricky for a chicken) with laughter when he realised what had been happening and that he now knew that Spaniel was the snowman.
The two chickens didn’t like the fact that everybody was now laughing at them, they slowly got madder and madder, their faces getting redder and redder until their heads blew like a steam trains whistle ‘PURRRRP’ they went and just exploded with rage saying that they were going to ninjalize Spaniel when they got hold of him.
With a kung fu chop they knocked open the door to the chicken run and chased Spaniel around the garden. With one great jump Spaniel went over a garden wall and with a plop he landed into the snow the other side before running inside the house slamming the door behind him.
His dad was at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea, asked ‘what’s the hurry, you being chased by ninja chickens?’ Yep said Spaniel before rushing off up stairs, mum looked around at dad saying ‘ninja what?’.
The storey continues......
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