Ninja Chickens - A Force The Force Of Nature

Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called Lemony-Snickets.

It was Sunday morning; the sun was streaming through the gap in the curtains shining on Spaniel face, gently waking him up.

Spaniel could hear a ‘Boing Boing Boing Boing OUCH’ coming from his sister’s bedroom. Spaniel knocked on the wall shouting at Lemony to be quite as he was still snoozing and that she would wake up hoover the cat.



Lemony shouted ‘I don’t care, I’m Ninja Girl and I’m going to get you’

Spaniel groaned, muttering back to Lemony ‘Oh yea you and whos army?’

At this point his sister stopped bouncing and thought to herself, mmm perhaps your right I need an army, mmmm now I wonder who could I enrol? Perhaps mum? No, perhaps Dad? No, mmmm I wonder.

At that point Spaniel wandered into Lemony’s room grabbed here doll and left saying that he needed something for target practice. Lemony was horrified shouting I’m going to get you!! You Meany, Spaniel ignoring his sisters threats muttering to himself ‘yada yada yada!

‘Breakfast kids’ shouted mum from downstairs, at which point both Lemony and Spaniel ran down the stairs and jumped up onto their chairs at the kitchen table.

‘Well kids, either rice flakes or sausage sandwiches? What would you like?’

‘Sausage sandwiches please’ they both shouted in unison.

Whilst munching away at the breakfast Lemony kept telling Spaniel she was going to ‘muster her army and they were going to get him’, ‘oh yea’ said Spaniel ‘I suppose your going to get the chickens to help you are you’ he continued laughing. Lemony was getting annoyed by Spaniels taunting. ‘you just wait, you wait’ said lemony.

‘Alright where would you like me to wait’ said Spaniel thinking he was clever with such a response.

‘In eh um In the garden’ said Lemony who then stormed off. ‘And bring my doll Alfie with you as well’ she yelled as she went out of the doo to the front garden.

Lemony went and sat under the walnut tree in the garden, she started to ponder what can I do to get my brother back? Mmmm as she was doing this she was talking to herself coming up with various dastardly deeds. She hadn’t realised that someone was listening to her. Well in fact there were four pairs of ears listening to her.

High up in the tree was Cyril the squirrel sat in a hammock watching the world go by whilst munching on a walnut.

Lemony hadn’t noticed him up their, but every now and then there was a ‘plop’, ‘plop’, ‘plop’ Lemony kept looking around what was making that noise but she couldn’t work it out.

As Lemony sat there, Hewi, Lewi and Dewi where sat in their chicken coup listening intently to Lemony. All three chickens then began talking to each other saying what a great little girl Lemony was and that they should try and help her, they all agreed they would. However the real reason they decided to help was the fact that her brother Spaniel was their arch enemy and they had had many battles.

So all three said in unison ‘don’t worry Lemony we will help you’, Lemoney turned round ‘who who’s there?’ asked Lemony in a slightly nervous voice. ‘Don’t worry little girl it’s THE NINJA CHICKENS’ shouted the trio as they sprang out of their coup.

AHHH shouted Lemony in a stake of shock. It wasn’t every day that she saw talking chickens with ninja capes and masks on. ‘Don’t worry Lemony we will help you’ with that the three chickens came over to Lemoney and said leave it to us we will get your brother Spaniel he’s our arch enemy.

At that point there was a loud ‘KAPLUNK’ as Cyril the squirrel fell out of the tree and landed on top of Hewi. Cyril sprang to his feet and looked around apologising to Hewi. ‘OH NO A TALKING SQUIRREL’ said Lemony as she nearly fainted.

‘Talking chickens and a talking squirrel what’s happening in the world? Said Lemony, Its progress said Dewi, I suppose you haven’t spoken to the horse and cow yet then?

‘UUUUUU’ my head hurts said Lemony, ‘now don’t worry’ said Hewi, it’s alright. Let’s now deal with the matter in hand, SPANIEL.

‘What’s he done?’ apart from the obvious, said Cyril, ‘well he’s got my doll and he’s going to use it for target practice’ said Lemony in a crumbly voice.

‘Right troops’ said Cyril turning to his three comrades ‘lets make a plan’. So they all sat down with tea and biscuits making a plan.

After much pondering they came up with one, at that moment Spaniel came whistling into the garden carrying Lemonys doll and his bow and arrow set.

Lemony and her new friend jumped behind a bush and watched Spaniel.

He perched the doll on a bush and paced backwards 10 paces counting as he went.

‘OH NO’ he’s going to shoot Alfie with an arrow squeaked Lemony, ‘oh no he’s not’ said the animals as they all pounced out from behind the bush encircling Spaniel.

Cyril said to Spaniel ‘hand over the doll or we will be forced to NINJALISE you’

Mmmmm thought Spaniel, ‘well if its not my old chums Hewi, Lewi, Dewi and Cyril so you think you four can take me out?’ ‘well think again’ said Spaniel as he spun around holding out his bow, and with a klunk, klunk, klunk and klunk Spaniel splattered his four foes across the garden.

All four ninjas jumped shouting ‘BANZI LETS NINJALIZE HIM’ and they sprang across the garden with a great leap landing on top of Spaniel together and jumping up and down on the spot saying ‘AHH YOU’VE BEEN NINJALIZED’ with a great roar, Spaniel jumped up catapulting all four ninjas across the garden, Hewi flew head first into the dung heap pooh smelly, Lewi flew straight into the pond with a great splash, Dewi went straight into the buses with a loud yell, after all it was a holly bush! And finally Cyril bounced into the tree trunk with such force it rained walnuts on his head.

While Spaniel did this Lemony sneaked across the garden and managed to get hold of her doll before running into the house to tell mum and dad of her adventure and that they had a talking squirrel and chickens.

Spaniel just laid on the grass slightly dazed whilst he watched the ninjas scurry off……

A Short Storey

Flying Chicken

Once upon a time there was a boy called Spaniel who lived on a farm with his Mum and Dad and his little Sister called lemony-snickets.

Spaniel woke up early as the sun streamed through the gaps in the curtains. As usual Hoover was curled up on the bottom of spaniels bed sound asleep.

Spaniel laid there in bed thinking what adventures he and his fearless friend Hoover would have today.

Suddenly there was a tapping noise, spaniel just laid there dosing like hoover when all of a sudden the tapping got louder and louder, spaniel nudged hoover to go and have a look out of the window to see what it was.

Hoover stretched out his paws and yawned whilst lazily walking over to the window muttering to himself that he should not have to do this, and that he had better things to do such as sleep, eat, sleep, eat and sleep some more.

Spaniel told him to stop moaning and to pull his paw out and check to see what was tapping on the window.

Hoover said “Mew Meow Mew Mew Meow” which roughly translates into “the Egyptians had the right ideas, cats were treated as cats in those days, just you wait buster”. Hoover finally reached the curtains and pulled them open with his paws he was quite a cleaver cat he thought as he pulled the curtains back.

At that point he saw what was making the noise and it scared him out of one of his nine lives, jumping so high he hit the ceiling which he clung to with his “mew mew mew” which translates into Spaniel “there’s a flying chicken” spaniel who was fairly fluent in cat thought at that point hoover had had too much posh puss chunks and that he was seeing things, don’t be daft hoover spaniel said trying to reassure him, come down from the ceiling mum will go chicken oriental if she sees you stuck to the ceiling.

Hoover replied ‘you must be a nutter if you think I’m coming down when there’s a flying chicken pecking at the window.’

Spaniel laughed and got out of bed and looked out of the window, Hoover was right there was a chicken at the window, and he was flying, “he’s got a jet pack” shouted spaniel, I know said Hoover.

Outside the window with a mad glint in his eye was Hewy the ninja chicken, one of Hoovers and Spaniels arch enemies flying by with a jet pack on.

UH OH said Spaniel, at that point Hewy shouted MENTAL MENTAL IM A CHICKEN ORIENTAL - BANZI and came crashing through the window, and grabbed Hoover with his feet then jetted out of the room just as quickly.

Spaniel got his tennis racket and tried to splat Hewy but missed lost his balance and fell off the bed onto a shelf which collapsed catapulting a clay model of a squirrel he made at school out of the window.

The squirrel flew through the air with quite an impressive speed so much so that it hit Hewy and Hoover mid flight. The tail of the squirrel hit the on/off button on the jet pack and with a loud splutter the pair of them and the jet pack fell out of the sky.

Hoover shouted ‘oh my word, I’m not going to loose another life am I?’ ‘at least you have nine life’s to loose I’m only a chicken we only have one’ said the chicken. At that point with a loud whistling noise they neared the ground and with a huge splat they hit the ground, or rather I should say the big smelly dung heap, which was thankfully a very soft yet smelly landing for the pair of them.

Spaniel who was looking out of what was left of the window, and then he ran down the stairs and out of the front door whilst pulling on his wellington boots. Upon arriving at the dung heap all Spaniel could see was Hoovers tail sticking out waving furiously.

Spaniel grabbed his chums tail and pulled, and pulled and with a loud PLOP Hoover shot out of the heap, standing up and shaking himself to try and remove as much of the pooh as possible, he was not happy. Spaniel then went back to try and get Hewy out of the heap. Hoover shouted leave that mental chicken in there.

All of a sudden the remaining two chickens Lewy and Dewy pounced out from behind the tree in true ninja fashion shouting “HA YA” step away from the pooh or your both going to be kebabs, Spaniel looked at Hoover who just grinned and with a loud “BANZI” both Hoover and Spanniel jumped ninja style towards Lewy and Dewy in a kung fu fashion.

The chickens shouting ‘its ninja time’ as they to pounced towards Spaniel and Hoover, there was a great big blur of fur, feather and pooh as all four fought to try and ninjalise each other.

Just then dad came strolling around the corner singing to himself ‘old mack peter had a farm, and on that farm he had some chickens do da do da’ he then stopped in his tracks as he saw the tornado that was Spaniel, Hoover, Lewy and Dewy, as they tore across the garden flattening everything in their path. Dad grabbed the hose pipe and squirted the mad pile of trouble until in a total soggy heap all four just sat there dripping in a mixture of water and cow pooh.

Lewy and Dewy squawked and ran off to their coup, whilst Spaniel and Hoover sat on a nearby wall to dry off. As Spaniel, Hoover and dad sat there on the wall chatting in the sun they all heard a faint fizzle and sizzling noise followed by a little groan, then all of a sudden there was a large loud KAAABOOOOOM, there was pooh and straw flying everywhere and it covered all three of them, blowing them off the wall and into the cattle trough on the other side with a big SPLASH.

As they crawled out of the trough they saw Hewy fly by with what was left of the jet pack hanging off of him, whilst he squawked madly.

Hewy whizzed through the branches of the walnut tree, knocking loads of nuts off its branches as he went before finally coming to rest in a blackberry bush.

Hewy just laid there groaning with stars and little chicks twittering above his head. Everybody in the garden was laughing loudly as they saw Hewy just sitting there. He finally got up and staggered back to the safety of the coup, where he was going to lay down for a day or so.